Een ritje in een limousine

Onlangs verhuisden mijn kinderen me naar een begeleid wonen gemeenschap. Ze waren het zat om met mij domino te spelen. Dus hier ben ik, in Los Angeles, Californië, omringd door een stel mensen “van mijn eigen leeftijd”, en het enige wat we doen is domino spelen, kerkliederen zingen en talkshows kijken.

Mijn kinderen hebben gelijk. Domino’s zijn saai.

Dus je weet wat ik deed? Ik werd het zat om te blijven zitten en het leven voorbij te zien gaan. Ik heb niet zoveel tijd meer op deze aarde, dus ik kan net zo goed gek worden. Ik trok mezelf van mijn kussen en pakte het telefoonboek. Toen begon ik Vegas werven voor limousineverhuur. Wij oude mensen gaan hier allemaal weg voor een dag limousine-ritten. We nemen een paar lieve verpleegsters mee, en we schilderen de stad… een respectabele roze tint. Maar goed, plezier is leuk, welke kleur het ook is.

Toen ik begon rond te bellen, wist ik niet welke vragen ik moest stellen, behalve “Hoeveel gaat dit me kosten?” en “Staat u pitstops toe?” Toen vond ik een geweldig bedrijf dat limousines verhuurt die niet zo duur zijn. Het meisje dat de telefoon opnam was heel lief en behulpzaam, en toen ze erachter kwam dat ik mij en mijn vrienden (en enkele aardige verpleegsters) een tijdje uit het huis wilde halen, werd ze echt enthousiast. Ze vond het een geweldig idee. Op dat moment kreeg ze goedkeuring van haar baas om me een speciale deal te geven en hielp ze me de hele reis te organiseren: hoeveel limousines ik nodig had, de drankjes voor de bar, de gebitvriendelijke snacks. Ze heeft zelfs een restaurant voor ons gereserveerd in het centrum van Los Angeles.

Lees tip:  Nuttige tips voor het onderhouden van je motor

Dus waarom limousines, vraag je? Ik weet het niet. Het lijkt me gewoon leuk. Ik zal me weer jong voelen. Hierdoor zal mijn buurman met ernstig gehoorverlies en problemen met de controle over de blaas zich weer jong voelen. Het zal ervoor zorgen dat de arme verpleegsters die het minimumloon verdienen en de hele dag met bedpannen werken, zich belangrijk voelen, — ik weet het niet — alsof ze een speciaal iemand zijn.

En als je mijn leeftijd bereikt, begin je terug te kijken op alle herinneringen die je door de jaren heen had. Je wordt moe van het terugkijken, en je wilt nieuwe herinneringen gaan maken, je wilt vooruitkijken naar de toekomst. Een limousine herinnert je eraan dat het leven niet voorbij is, dat het weer glamoureus kan zijn.

Geen van de andere bewoners weet van de verrassing, dus hou je mond. Ze denken dat we zaterdag naar de dierentuin gaan — alweer. Maar dat zijn we niet. De limo’s rijden tot aan de voordeur. De chauffeurs, met hun schattige zwarte hoedjes, stappen uit de zwarte limousines en houden de deuren voor ons open. En dan gaan we hier weg, net als Julia Roberts en Robert De Niro.

En nee, mijn kinderen zijn niet uitgenodigd. Laat ze thuis blijven en domino spelen.

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